I found myself watching other couples at Market Days, and wondering if Mr. Grinch and I would ever walk hand in hand again? And realizing even if that doesn't happen, there are so many things we can still do. I see other older couples, one is sometimes on a cane, or walker, yet they are ambulating about and obviously enjoying their time together while doing so. I also see some of our wounded warriors, some are permanently wheelchair bound, and beside them, or sometimes pushing them, are their wives, and even family. What matters isn't how one gets about, what matters is that one gets about.
The doctor has written the prescription, it has been faxed, and the machine has been shipped. As soon his portable oxygen machine gets here, I am going to see to it that this time, like it or not, he is going to get out and about more. Part of the reason he is in such bad shape is because he stubbornly refused to walk more, and do the things he could have. I've reading up on cancer, and COPD. In the case of COPD, even if a person does need oxygen therapy, it doesn't mean the person can't do anything. In fact, the extra oxygen will enable them to do more. When combined with physical therapy, and other treatments, a person can improve. He will need to rest at times to catch his breath, but he can still get out and about and enjoy life.
He's had his wake up call though, and realizes he has to change his way of thinking. If he forgets that wake up call, I'm going to Gibb's smack him up the back of his bald head to remind him of it. It's not like I haven't done that to him before when he needed it. And those who know me well, know I'll do it, if that is what it takes to remind him. One or two of you reading this have been smacked by me like that when you needed it ;)
And by the way, touch is very important when interacting with someone who has cancer. I've been told that far too often others are reluctant to reach out and touch someone who has cancer. It is not a contagious disease though, and more than ever before, those battling this dreaded disease need a tender touch. Or in Mr. Grinch's case, lots of tender touches, and an occasional smack up the back of the head to keep him on track. When not resisting the urge to smack him upside his stubborn head, I am running a gentle hand up and down his back. Sometimes gently dancing the tips of my nails up and down his spine. Letting the energy flow through my fingertips as I do. We also hold hands, and lean against each other a lot.
We are engaged in a most deadly battle here. Every breath that he takes, every step that he walks, every exercise he does, a minor victory. Each little victory geared towards building him up for the next chemo treatment. A treatment that will temporarily rob him of the strength he's gained, and his appetite. It will make him sick, weak, and at times wondering if the cure is worse than the disease? But, if he responds as favorably to that treatment as he did the first, then the cancer will continue to be controlled.
It will at times be a journey of two steps forward, one step back. Sometimes even one step forward, two steps back. But as long as he wants to continue, then we do this dance of life. I will do my very best to help insure this dance of life is filled with as much joy and sunshine as I can. And be there hand in hand with him in those darkest moments.
