I did not realize until very recently that I could feel both strong, and fragile at the same time. That's what taking this journey with my honey is teaching me though. For the most part, I do feel strong and able to tackle anything. But, there are times that even as I'm in the midst of feeling that, I will suddenly be overwhelmed with it all, and feel as if taking even one more tiny little whack, will shatter me like glass. When those moments strike, I withdraw completely, don't answer the phone, don't do anything but close my eyes, take very deep breaths, think about all I've already endured in my life, and remind myself if I can endure all that, one more whack, big or small isn't going to shatter me. Once I have done that, then I am ready to rejoin the world, and take whatever whacks life deals out to me, to us, as I continue to make this roller coaster cancer journey with my husband.
