The rainy weather today has made Mr. Grinch's first day in the rehab place a not so good one. When I first went in this morning his oxygen stats were on the downslide. Fortunately after a breathing treatment those improved and he was actually in to mid to upper 90's when I left.
Mr. Grinch did not get a good night's sleep. Seems his roommate is up all night playing loud Lawrence Welk and Johnny Cash music, and trying to get up. Which quite frankly, for Mr. Grinch and I, hardcore rockers that we are, having to listen to that all night is our version of hell on earth. Tomorrow the nurses are going to talk to the office personal they need to in order to resolve that situation. If that doesn't work, I'll step in.
As I was leaving I stopped to talk to his nurse. Her kindness reduced me to tears, and before it was over I was in a little room with two nurses who I will go to my grave remembering, and thanking for their wonderful support and kindness. One of the nurses who had lost her husband to cancer said, "It's an evil roller coaster." She is so right. I had said when I first started writing about our journey it was a roller coaster, but that wonderful nurse is right, it is a flat out evil roller coaster at times.
That's where the first part of the title for this entry came from. The other, well there are so many tears and fears for those of us taking this terrible journey. We many fears, including that age old fear of death itself. And we shed many tears along the way. Tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of anger, tears of frustration. And if the battle is lost, tears of grief.
As a wife all I can do is stay as strong as possible and do my best to give him every opportunity to fight as long as he can, and wants to. That, and help make sure he doesn't have to keep listening to Lawrence Welk and Johnny Cash all night.
