The Celebration of Larry’s Life went beautifully. I was so glad to see how many friends showed up. And so very proud of my son as he spoke about his father, and all he had learned from him. We had several photos of Larry, some dating back to when Christopher was a baby. But everyone’s favorite seemed to be that last photo I took of him sitting on the porch, with his middle finger extended on his leg. I told Marisol I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate for the celebration. She just laughed and replied, “We are using it. That is so Larry.” And it was so him.
Today as I was folding the laundry I realized there was nothing of his in there. That was one of those squeeze my eyes tight and take a deep breath moments. I know there are a lot more of those moments ahead of me. I will get through them though. Then I will open my eyes, and continue the journey I am now on. It is not a journey I wanted to take, and would give anything not to be on it. But, I am on it, so I will put one foot in front of the other, and sally forth as bravely as I can.
Change is a big part of this journey, so I am dealing with the change his death has dealt me by making some changes on my own. Like turning the back area into a girl cave for me. Today we moved the fridge from that closet area it sat in, and over to the other side of the room. I now have a nice little full length closet to hang my dresses in, and a little floor space for shoes. I will need to put some kind of curtain door on it since it has no door. I can get the curtain for that when I get the curtain panels and tension rod for the ramp door.
Larry's urn currently has a place of honor in the corner of the room. It sits under a wooden folding table with one of the peace lilies I received. I can just hear him now. "Great, you put me in the corner. With a damn weed over me." Larry called all flowers, no matter how stunningly beautiful they were, damn weeds. He better enjoy the peace lily while he can though because when I go back to west Texas I'm grabbing the wrought iron corner stand, and my faeries. After that, he will be on he bottom shelf, with faeries dancing over him. He'll really love that.
