With Chris back in Japan, and today marking my second week of widowhood, Mother's Day could have been a very sad one for me. I chose to make it a good day though. I went to Market Days, found a groovy rainbow mesh top, soaked up some sunshine, enjoyed a little wine, and took a mile long walk. Getting some sunshine, and taking more walks are two of the things I want to do more of. My poor pale legs can sure use some sun! That's why I wore a pair of short, but still reasonably modest by my standards, denim shorts today.
As I was walking today and looking at all the wild flowers in bloom, I thought of the first time Chris brought me wildflowers he had picked. I remember looking into his happy face, then at the flowers, and thinking that tiny fistful of bedraggled flowers was the most beautiful bouquet I had ever seen.
Autumn leaves still on the ground crunched beneath my feet as I continued my walk. I thought about how the leaves breaking down and returning to the soil nourished the earth, which in turn nourished the tree. When you think about it, the trees feed not only themselves with shed leaves, but other plants, insects, animals, and trees as well. Trees are just so cool. That's why when I die, I want to be a tree. I want to be cremated, then have my ashes put in with a young tree. And I want to be a magnolia tree. As my friend Pae pointed out when I told her what I wanted done with my earthly remains, magnolia trees live a long time, and have the pretty pink blossoms on them I want. And whenever any of my family, or anyone else needs to, they can hug me, and I will comfort them.
In the meantime, I intend to continue hugging trees when I need to, enjoying long walks, and just generally connecting with Mother Nature any way I can. That connection is a very important part of the spiritual path I walk. From that connection I will draw the strength I need to in order to continue on this new journey of mine.
