Good morning world! Wow I have been staying busy the past few days. But I'm taking a few moments to relax outside underneath my favorite shade tree as I sip my tea and contemplate life this morning. Despite the heartache and grief I've experienced over the past year, it's still a good life. This month has been a little rough on me because it was a year ago this month Larry was diagnosed with cancer and COPD, and the battle for his life began. Though it's true to say in the end he lost that battle, it's also true to say we also got our wish because more time is what we wished for after we were first told he only had a couple of weeks to live. He lived nine more months after that, which allowed us more time together. And yes it allowed me to prepare myself for the end when it came. In the end, we all lose the battle for life in one way or another. Death, is a natural part of life.
I learned so many things this past 12 months. I learned to cherish life, and live it to the fullest while I can. I learned that even in the midst of pain and heartbreak, there are beautiful moments that will always be remembered. I learned what a joy and blessing having real friends who truly care about me is. Most of all, I learned how strong I truly am. I have always been a strong person. That's what allowed me to survive all that I have. I had forgotten though just how strong I can be when necessary. Now I'm learning to stay strong as I continue this widow's journey I am on. I don't know about how this journey is for other women who are taking it. For me, it's a big paradox in many ways because it is both heartbreakingly sad, yet on the other hand, exhilarating as well as I learn to adapt and grow into the person I now want to be.
